eat your peas… and pay your amex

Growing up. You just never realize how long it really takes.

I spent four years in college and the price tag of that education was a pretty damn nice BMW each year. I was involved in a lot of activities; in fact, for the last two years of college, I would say too many. I double-majored and took one full year’s worth of extra credits in four years. I went to different countries, sat at dinner tables with world-renowned lecturers, and studied under some of the most remarkable people I will ever meet.

… and I know shit about going through life as a twenty-something.

Today was the deadline to turn in my benefits/retirement plan enrollment packages. Actually, last Monday was the deadline and today was the, “If you don’t turn it in, you’re waiving EVERYTHING for a year.” I’m not really sure what to call that; maybe the, hey-buddy-I-have-this-stick-to-shove-up-your-ass deadline. I got two manila envelopes full of information- HMOs, PPOs, 403bs, 401ks, and the list of numbers and abbreviations goes on and on.

I can rattle off the definitions and I can recite the differences backwards and forwards. But it is a totally different ballgame when you have to choose those sorts of things for your livelihood – all by yourself. Going through this made me understand why there are so many people in the world that make their careers out of doing this kind of work for other people – no one is masochistic enough to do it themselves. Generally, I wouldn’t be, either. I’m just too poor to pay. Ah, yes. Yet another benefit of graduating: being poor! (Note: I jump on silver if I see it on the ground)

Looking back to high school, I remember the uphill hike that was applying to college. My mom was always asking whether or not I had completed applications, whether or not I had worked on FAFSA, whether or not I had taken a look at decision packets. Scholarship applications? Didn’t even do one until my mom threatened me with my golf clubs. I can imagine that, in my senior year of high school, I tested my mom’s patience more than any other year of my life.

Now, I don’t have anyone pushing me to do anything- not to go to work, not to fill out benefits packets, not to assist in cleaning the house, and certainly not to pay my car, insurance, phone, rent, or credit card bills. No one thinking about the possible pitfalls that lay ahead. And the only person who is getting their patience tested now is me. There’s no class that teaches someone how to get the boot from campus living and take on the world by himself – no guide  I can find (and I’ve looked) that gives me a comprehensive look into all of my new responsibilities.

We live, we die… and in between there is this never-ending, sometimes painful, sometimes joyous, process that quite literally takes everything we have to get right. But along the way come moments of revelation and appreciation, the kind that is most genuine and deserved.

That scholarship application that my mom made me fill out… it paid for college. Thanks, Mom… for lots of things.

hey, remember me?

The holidays. Months of preparation and they are already gone.

I get so excited for the holidays. I expect so much out of my time off, my time with my family and friends, and my time back in Arizona. This season was one of those ‘reflection’ periods in my life and, not remarkably, it was the holidays that caused me to consider some of my relationships. I think this holiday season brought me more than I bargained for, though- in terms of information gained, thoughts processed, and ideas developed.

When you start a relationship with someone – and when I’m talking about a relationship, I mean any sort of continued, congenial (con… as in “with” meaning the other person is putting something in, too) effort, not just a lovey-dovey thing – there aren’t really any expectations as to how or where things will go… and it often gets off to a fairly inauspicious start.

While in Arizona, I was able to meet up with some of my friends from high school. We spent four years growing up together… and then spent another four years growing up apart. Everyone is generally where I expected them to be- all successful in college, all moving into careers or graduate schools that seem very promising. But every time I go back, I see fewer and fewer people – while I’m in California, I get fewer and fewer emails (and by that measuring stick, send fewer and fewer emails). It’s the great boil-down, the natural phase of just getting “out-of-touch.” So, sometimes, the people who aren’t at those gatherings are more noticeable than the people who are in attendance. And that is strange to think about because in five years, some relationships that are “strong” now will be in the same place- not around the table at the informal reunion.

It’s a bit frustrating to think that relationships have a usefulness expiration date (by the way- why is “a usefulness” not “an usefulness?” Microsoft Word messes with everything I thought I knew about grammar!!!). These sorts of things can’t really be measured in utility, but it seems like they are operated by that function- for example, how many times (due to Facebook or otherwise) has someone from whom you have not heard in four years mysteriously contact you, start up some small talk, and then ask you for something? Ah, you have once again become useful- that means you’re friends! Some people play checkers- if you’re not involved in the move directly before or directly after, it’s like you’re not there. And some people play chess- there is a purpose for EVERYTHING on the board, whether that be readily apparent or not. Some play checkers and some play chess- you never can tell where relationships are going to end up.

The holidays and the visits that accompany the season have provided a timely reminder that we should make sure that we are the chess players. For in all things – especially relationships – our beginnings never know our ends.

shalom to the holidays

So I’m aware that I have not updated this in quite a while.

There’s just not enough time in the day!!! But, I’m back at work after my break… so, OBVIOUSLY I have found some time to do it now. Before I attempt to write anything serious, here are my observations of the world during holiday season 2008.

-My travel schedule included Vegas (December 18^th-21^st), Arizona (December 23^rd-27^th), Carlsbad (December 28^th-29^th), Palm Springs (December 31^st-January 2^nd), and Teren’s futon (the night of January 3^rd).

-Scott is staying in Arizona for spring semester. Great news for more frequent visits, being in the same time zone (well, kind of… Arizona keeps it OG and California has to move the damn clocks around so it gets dark at 3pm), and Disneyland trips… Not so great news otherwise.

-Piece of advice: only travel with people whom you know you’ll be friends with for the rest of time- because if that sort of commitment/relationship/feeling is not there, you’ll end up being someone’s bitch in prison due to your conviction for murder.

-Never go to an Indian casino two nights in a row and expect to win both nights. There’s a reason they have so many casinos- and it’s not because they are losing money.

-Peppermint patties/bark ARE as good as you remember…. And more fattening than you remember.

-Outlet stores are the most genius thing ever invented. When have you ever gone to an outlet center and NOT seen someone walking around with a bag? Yup.

-New Years Eve is not all that it’s cracked up to be… pretty much anything you decide to do, you could do it at home for cheaper and have just as good of a time. Maybe I’m just not going to the right places or something, but I’m not feelin’ it.

-I got my all-time high score on Buzz Lightyear: 497,800. That’s right, bitches, bring it.

-There’s lots of things that you ask for during the holidays- to be with your family, nice weather, safe travels, maybe some presents. Bank statements are not one of those things. When that envelope comes at the end of every holiday, you have the, “Oh, shit,” moment followed by some quick calculations in your head as to what you can no longer do…. like buy food or turn on ANYTHING in your house.

-All of you people that complain about the heat in the summer and the cold in the winter… first off, get a grip, we’re in California; you don’t know heat, and you don’t know cold. Second, pick one to bitch about and then get over the other one.

-Linden Mosk is one of the coolest people alive. Period.

So there is what I have from the holidays. Something more serious to come a bit later- I’m all sorts of wound up over different things…